This Week on The News Dump (Sept 22nd, 2019)

Our comedy writers are here to help your brand find its funny. The hive-mind is ready to spring into action the second you hit that big red button – but they all have enviable comedy writing careers that run alongside their work with White Label.

Some write for TV Panel Shows, others write for Radio Comedies. A few can be found helping the UK’s best stand-ups punch-up their material. But there’s one thing they ALL have in common: each and every member of the White Label Comedy hive-mind contributes to satirical comedy outlet The News Dump.

A side-project we developed to keep our writing sharp, our material topical, and give our funny-bones a chance to operate unfiltered.

Here are just a few of the articles the White Label Comedy hive-mind contributed to The News Dump this week.

Aladdin banned in Canada after footage shows Will Smith ‘blued up’ for the role

Aladdin banned in Canada after footage shows Will Smith 'blued up' for the role

Canada has banned Disney’s live action version of Aladdin after it emerged the genie was played, not by a Smurf, but by a ‘blued up’ Will Smith.

In recent years, there have been several controversies involving politicians, celebrities and brands accused of blackface, brownface or yellowface.

And Canadian MP Justin Trudeau has described Smith’s actions as ‘deplorable’. He said the decision to ban the movie from Canadian TV and cinema was made ‘immediately we realised that Smith is nothing more than a illiberal racist scumbag’ and that ‘no amount of apologies will make this go away.’

Mr Trudeau himself has faced criticism this week after photos emerged showing him at a fancy-dress party in fancy dress.

He said, ‘I take responsibility for my decision to do that. I shouldn’t have done it.’

Adding that he could offer ‘no explanation’ as to why he was at a fancy-dress party at the age of 29.

(Read More)


Fence delighted to be reunited with Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn's Fence invited to lead a Brexit No-Deal Emergency Government

There is renewed confusion over Jeremy Corbyn’s Brexit position after the suggestion that he’d remain neutral in a new EU referendum.

But, a fence in a North Islington allotment is ecstatic at being reunited with the recent, seemingly, decisive Opposition leader

“It’s been tough being apart from Jeremy”, an emotional Fence said, whilst fighting back the tears, “We used to go everywhere together. Northern Ireland, The Middle East, Israel, Strasbourg. But since HE [the new Prime Minister Boris Johnson] came along, Jeremy changed. All of a sudden Jeremy was forthright, had a view, argued his position with confidence, started to regain the trust of the Socialist movement in the  UK. He’d stay out late at fringe activist meetings, coming home smelling of cheap bitter, humous and patchouli oil. It was all so upsetting.”

(Read More)


Cameron to phone every single person in the UK to apologise for Brexit.

Whoops! I fucked a pig - title of Cameron's autobiography leaks to the press

David Cameron phoned European leaders, and then-US president Barack Obama to apologise for the results of the Brexit referendum.

Following on from this revelation, Cameron has now announced that he will be performing political penance, by personally phoning every UK citizen to apologise for what has happened.

Cameron will spend the next few months going down the phone book alphabetically, and apologising directly to the UK public. Anybody who doesn’t pick up will receive a minute long voicemail from the former Prime Minister.

For those who voted remain, he will apologise for the UK leaving the E.U. For those who voted leave, he will apologise that the UK is leaving the E.U with all the smoothness and ease of a turd coming out sideways.

(Read More)


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